One of our most important motivational needs is “connection”, through social interactions and building relationships.  If we don’t feel connected with others, we feel stress or a heightened sense of anxiety.  

With our amazing technology, it’s often assumed that social media and interacting online provides what we need to feel that level of connection.   But recent research (reported in Neuroscience News) has shown a significant difference in brain activity during face-to-face conversations compared to online interactions (eg on Zoom and Teams). 

Our brains are finely tuned to process facial cues during real life interactions. This is vital for providing natural social connection and conversation flow.  But, according to the study, these neural signals are reduced significantly when online.

Why we Need Connection

Our brain is a social brain. When we’re not thinking strategically or about goals/projects, we revert to thinking about social things such as our relationships, what people think of us, or if we’re being left out of something.

Humans have a fundamental need to belong and can be very sensitive to our social environment. We are always on the lookout for whether we can truly relate to and feel at ease with others.  When we feel safe, trust is higher, and we can share common goals. 

We are strongly motivated to remain in good standing in a social group, and avoid exclusion. If that sense of connection is missing, we can feel on edge or even overly competitive.  

If someone feels left out, they can also become less collaborative and less creative.  This can become a significant issue when working in teams.

Building Trust

Our need for connection drives our ability to trust, form bonds and feel safe opening up to others.

When this is threatened, it reduces the ability to hold thoughtful, reflective and innovative conversations.  It can also make constructive feedback, development and goal conversations difficult to accept.

Real Life or Online?

There are obviously a lot of benefits to online meetings.  From the research, it’s worth thinking about how often and when to use this tool, if you want to build connection, encourage and enjoy rich and creative conversations, and get the best from group discussions.

To build trust and rapport, initial introduction meetings, or important conversations and feedback would probably benefit from being in person.

Anyone leading a group also have to be mindful of the in-group/out-group bias (where we can favour those we feel we can more easily relate to), and ensure everyone feels listened to and included.

How would you balance the mix of real-life and online meetings?

If you are interested in finding out more, and how executive coaching could help individuals and teams, please get in contact for an initial chat.